Liz JUMPS out of her window. She is so desperate to get to the Gurugita that she jumps 12 to 15 feet onto the concrete sidewalk. She writes that she ran "barefoot, my pulse slamming in my ears, all the way to the temple, found a seat, opened up my prayer book just as the chant was beginning, and--bleeding down my leg the whole while--I started to sing the Gurugita" (168). I loved this. In my head, I pictured this vivid image of a crazy, half-asleep lady running down a peaceful Indian road, bleeding, and singing hysterically. To me that's faith. Actually, I loved it because it was a literal "leap of faith," which, intentional or not, was some inventive symbolism.
Another section I enjoyed was when she wrote about not "harboring" negative thoughts. Her mind is her harbor and she makes an extended metaphor (another one Ali!) about it. I particularly liked, "You may not come here anymore with your hard and abusivee thoughts, with your plague ships of thoughts, with your slave ships of thoughts, with your warships of thoughts" (179). Oddly enough, sometimes when I'm upset about something, I picture a door, one of those steel plated, code and giant, turning wheel on the outside of a vault, kind of doors. It has yet to work though. Maybe I'll try the harbor...
I'm still not a huge fan of Liz. She's still cocky. On page 187, she talks about finally forgiving her husband and finding a release from her past. I kept thinking about her husband. I'm pretty sure that he's still angry. True forgiveness is a two way street. How can she think that willing away her problems will work? I've tried that...it doesn't work. I especially didn't like how she described the souls regarding "each other's perfecction and similarity" (187). It seemed unrealistic to me. I couldn't relate. Could you?
When she first said she was about to jump out the window, I didn't think it was that wierd, because I pictured her on the first or second level, so that's something a normal person would do. But then she said that she fell 15 feet which made me think that she's legitamately insane, and I was surprised that she wasn't hurt more than just cutting her knee open. I also found the image of her funny though, because she obviously hadn't gotten dressed or brushed her hair or anything. And I was also surprised that she even went to the Gurugita, because she hated it so much before, so I expected her to just go back to sleep and then complain about her dissapointment in herself later on.
ReplyDeleteI don't know about the forgiveness thing. I think that although the soul thing on the rooftop was just a little weird, it is perfectly okay that she forgive herself for leaving her husband. I got the impression from how she was talking about the issue that she did EVERYTHING she possibly could to make him happy. She offered to give him everything she could afford to give in her divorce, she took all the blame, she apologized over and over... at that point I honestly think there is nothing that she can do for him. Maybe he is still upset, but that is something that only a long time of staying apart would be able to fix. I don't think that it would do her any good to be constantly apologizing to him and feeling horrible about herself and the divorce. Once she forgave herself, she was able to go on with her life without her husband in her every thought and without the guilt that she had always felt, so I think it was a really good and important thing for her to do.
ReplyDeleteI think she thought she was not seeking an apology, but she was actually seeking closure. She knows that there is no way that there is no way her and her ex-husband will never be able to come together civilly. Personally, I don't blame the husband for being so upset with her, because she had promised him a child and a structured life then failed to come through in these promises. I cannot see any way for the husband to forgive Liz, because of the things she had done to him. I hope he does not forgive her, EVER. Back to Liz, I do not think that her and her husband ever came ‘together’ as she described in her mine. I see this as just another form of meditation where she created this utopia so she can accomplish what she wants to. By accomplishing these tasks she now finally sees her relationship as over with her husband. He never forgave her; just she got, through meditation, the closure she was looking for. We know that she has closure problems in her past. Her relationship with David is a constant on and off relationship and although she knows she never will be happy with him, she continues to seek him.
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